Today I struggled with a lot of anger. The past two weeks have been a rollar coaster of emotions for me, and seriously, I hate that. A friend asked me Friday night what I wanted from God so he could pray along with me for it. My response? “I want to feel less.” I think feelings do so much more harm than good most times. It’s so easy to get caught up in how I’m feeling, and what will make me feel better, and why I deserve to feel such way … and it turns into a big selfish mess. I’ve been reminding myself of this verse lately:
“The heart is deceitful above all things,and desperately sick;who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
That being said … quoting that verse did me little good today. But, that’s because I’m pretty sure the anger I’m feeling is righteous anger. Because the anger isn’t really about how something effects me. While driving to get Emma today I kept thinking about the issue of forgiveness. I kept thinking of all the sermons on forgiveness. And the more I thought about the more angry I became. What on earth is wrong with the church today?
I thought about the people sitting in their pews, going faithfully, claiming to be Christians … Christ followers and the way many of those very people would treat someone like me. Or someone that wasn’t dressed in a certain way. I thought about how churches make you fill out tithe enevelopes so they know who is tithing what. The more I thought about the church in America the more disgusted I became.
What do these people think? I came to the conclusion it must be one of two things:
1. They think that Jesus only died for people that come from ‘good’ backgrounds. So, if you have any of the “really bad” sins in your life … well His blood isn’t good enough for you. So as long as you come from a decent family, and don’t have too many blemishes in your life (preferably none, but a certainly no big ones) then Jesus died for you. Anyone else? Strippers, women that have had abortions, fornicators, murderers, drug addicts … sorry you just aren’t good enough for the blood of Christ … or His blood really isn’t “good” enough to wash away your sins. Nice try though.
or it would be number two:
2. These ‘Christians’ didn’t really need Jesus Christ to die for them. They are obviously, so Holy, we probably could have just crucified one of them.
Both options infuriate me. How can people claim to be Christians, claim to follow my Lord, Jesus Christ, and refuse to even try and live like he modeled? We are to measure our lives to HIS. Not only that He gave us two commandments, that if we kept He says, all the others would fall into place.
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Has the church totally forgotten about these? I am willing to say yes. Christians are just like anyone else today … truly nothing separates them from non-believers except for some reason Christians go to church on Sundays. Why? I have no idea. They certainly aren’t exercising anything the Bible says outside of church. Christians care about themselves. About what makes them look good or bad. They don’t care about how their actions make the church, THE BRIDE OF CHRIST, look … NO they care about THEIR LIVES. And certainly not their eternal lives, they care about some kind of stain coming on their Earthly lives. It is DISGUSTING. It makes me so mad that people are defiling the name of Christ in such a way. Oh sure they aren’t running around saying bad things about Jesus Christ out right … but they are claiming to be followers of Him and disrespecting all of his teachings.
The worse part is no one wants to say anything to these people. No one wants to stand up for God. Because if you do, someone will probably play the grace card. The whole church is so corrupted with PCness and greed … it’s truly disturbing.
My brothers,show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ,the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,”while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers,has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?
If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one pointhas become accountable for all of it. James 2:1-10
So, I could get disgusted and say the church is broken and therefore I refuse to be part of it. But I don’t think that is the answer. I think the answer is to get more involved in church. To raise my girls to be true Christ followers. And just pray that other parents will do the same.
The whole thing reminds me of this quote from John Calvin, and it pretty much sums up the reason I decided to write this:
A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God’s truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.
It is quite sad that a believer in Christ will be turned away based on things such as their past, their wealth, family name, their apperance, etc. We are supposed to be a family. No one would want to be adopted into a family where they are shunned and hurt.